Feeling Weird

Recently I've been feeling weird. 

Not necessarily depressed, not necessarily sad, not necessarily burnt out..... just weird.

I'm not sure why. I am in a very happy relationship, I feel content with my life and my job and my friends. Not sure why I've been stuck in this rut for a while now. If you read my Burnt Out post, this is still the same feeling, but after having an entire week off of work. So I don't think it's being burnt out. 

Yesterday I had a hard case of the sensory overloads. I couldn't tolerate any background noise, any harsh light, or even my boss trying to talk to me. I had a really weird pain behind my eyes,  but not like a headache. It was odd. That's kind of how I've been feeling for 

I feel slightly unfulfilled in my life, I guess. Like what I'm doing isn't making that much of a difference in the world. I enjoy writing these posts and posting in other places (I made a tiktok today @kennedyrose55!), and that is what makes me happy and feeling the best. 

I want to do more things like that for the rest of my life. I think that writing and doing things that other people find entertaining enough to read and watch is what makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life. It simultaneously motivates me and makes me anxious and nervous all at the same time. I want to try my best and put all of my energy into growing and building, but I also want to give up and get a normal 9-5 and live a simple life. 

I am going to spend some time working exclusively on my brand and building my personality. I think that between my Tik Tok, streaming, and Instagram, I should be able to accumulate a decent following. I cannot wait to see how I can transform myself in the next year and see where I will be in September 2020.

Growth is my motivation. Seeing reads and views on my platforms.

I need to figure out what's been going on with myself and how I can get myself into a schedule and continue working as hard as possible. I think that doing websites and SEO stuff will be fine for now and it is a fine way to make money. I just want to do something more with my life. 

Please tune into my streams, read my blogs, and like my pictures if you can. It helps so much.  It is a huge help.

Thank you. 
XOXO Ken

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